Monthly Archives: November 2016

Here’s What I Think

Today’s regularly-scheduled blog will be pre-empted to make space for this motivational but highly opinionated post.

It takes a certain kind of person to be a politician, and probably not the kind of person most of us would choose for a close friend. But, as my mom said, it takes all kinds of people to make a world, so there you go.

As for me, I think I’m like a lot of world and American citizens. I am pro-choice and pro-life. I’m for gun rights and for gun control. I think everyone should be free to love whomever they choose. I don’t want anyone telling me what I can or can’t do in my own home and I’m sure you feel the same. I am strongly opposed to war and strongly supportive of the men and women who risk their lives to protect us. I support our police officers and I insist that there is a better way to hold police departments responsible for the abhorrent behavior of the appalling few. I don’t think anyone should be able to tell you when, where, how, how much, with whom, or in what fashion you worship. I believe in women’s rights, civil rights, LGBTQ rights, Native American rights, workers’ rights, student rights, rights for left-handed people, rights for everybody, because this is America, dammit. I believe in states’ rights, but I don’t want to live in the country of Arizona. I support immigration reform — border security AND refugee resettlement AND work permits.

Am I not everywoman?

Maybe not, but here is one single solid truth: after tomorrow we will know who our new President is going to be. It will be done, for better or worse. And you and I will still be neighbors. We will still have our own opinions and the freedom to share them. We will be the ones who have to live with each other after all the rhetoric and shouting and trash-talking by the candidates is over.

Please be kind. Please remember we are all someone’s mother or father, daughter or son, sister or brother. Please, please remember the Golden Rule.

Remember we are Americans and we all belong to the same race — the human race. Be a good human.

Now get out there and vote!

(Just kidding; left-handed people shouldn’t have the same rights as normal people 😏)

Good at Tests

Have you ever been faced with a truth about yourself that at some point becomes patently obvious, even though moments before you never would have considered it? That’s a shocker, and it probably doesn’t happen on its own. There was some catalyst, seen or unseen, that opened your eyes and made you different than you had been before.

It’s very surprising when it happens.

Take this quiz.

For each of the following questions, please answer yes or no.

In your love relationships:

If you showed your partner what you really want and need from him, do you think that you would lose his love?
Do you feel compelled to do everything for your partner, but resent it deep down?
Do you end up working so hard in your relationship that you ultimately collapse?
Do you feel you can never really depend on your partner?

At your job:

Is it difficult for you to collaborate with others on a project?
If you work in a group, do you tend to do the lion’s share of the work?
Does it make you nervous if you have to rely on a coworker for some of your work?
Do you wish that someone would take care of you so you would never have to work again?

About your body:

Do you think a lot about getting sick?
Do you often get strange aches and pains that don’t seem to be due to a known illness?
If you get sick, do you find that you feel kind of relieved?

This is a portion of a personality quiz in Gail Saltz’s book Becoming Real that I’m reading and my results were very shocking and disconcerting. There are things happening in my life that helped the results of this quiz speak to me, but it definitely has been an eye opener. Take the quiz, answer honestly yes or no to each question (because they won’t all apply to you) and I’ll tell you tomorrow what Gail thinks it means.

True Story

Well, that is surprising.

I’m working my way through a book entitled Becoming Real by Gail Saltz, and her premise is that we have all been telling ourselves stories since childhood to help us deal with life stuff. With things that are difficult or impossible for children to process, she says we create stories about ourselves and our lives that help us get through. For example, perhaps if you had a parent that was absent a lot for one reason or another, you would make up a story about how when you were “good” your parent would spend time with you and when you were “bad” you would be neglected. In other words, it was something you were doing wrong, not your parent.

Fast forward to adulthood, and you’re still living that story. You’re in a relationship with someone who neglects you and you’re still telling yourself that if you were “good” you would have the type of relationship you really want. But one day you realize that you keep repeating the same behavior and living the same story over and over again. That’s the day, hopefully, that you decide to get brave and face up to the fact that you have outgrown your story and it’s time to let it go.

So. Of course I have a story. I probably wouldn’t have picked up the book if I didn’t. I don’t even remember when I bought it, but it’s been a while. Want to know my story?

I have superhuman powers. Not the one I really want, which is flying. Mine is that I can deal with any problem and smooth it over until it looks pretty damn good. No matter how bumpy and crumbly the cake is, I can come up with enough frosting and wield my knife so skillfully that it will look just right.  At least on the outside. I am a problem solver, even for problems that can’t be solved and even for problems that aren’t my problem.

But that’s not the surprising part. I’ll tell you about that tomorrow.